digital | WIP stuff

ill later link to an image.. it was painted like 8 years ago, who knows.. i saved it off an old blog.. not this one, my Herbrokeneyeball(.blogspot.com) one, posted just as long ago. it was so bad looking. But, I just got the itch to re do it. Attempt to paint something good out of it. today:

These are a couple paintings from last month or so.. when I was working on these four little paintings. On wooden plaques. they are sitting on top of a canvas pad in the picture below. I was doing a test of mixing colors, and some glazing research was gonna happen too. I removed some colors, recently, from my palette/ usual set of paints I use. Keeping it simple. Five colors i believe,..and, well mixing all my colors from that. I'm off a little, I need a new yellow, i have a different one that I realize I need.


I wonder if I'll still post here. Seriously, my blogs are like my sketchbooks. 
I start too many, and they are all unfinished.


Oh, but I love blogging. It was repressed for a while, not in a bad way, just in a focused on producing level.


Painting and Not Sharing Yet

Gosh, Hi Blog. So I recently got into posting in my livejournal again. Uber secluded over there, but I like it. I posted pictures of what I worked on in July this year. I am now gonna put the final touches on these four wooden plaques, and I should be sharing them very soon. I was hoping to do all of this within one month but that's just for me. This time last month, I had just started the first one. Now I have to make sure to finish what I started. Down to the end! First Friday always gets in the way of painting progress for a few days. 
Here's a picture I took of one of my current paintings, while it received some sunlight from the setting sun. It's something I started a few years ago and finally finished earlier this year.
"Slippery When Wet" 18x24" This is another painting I haven't fully/ officially shared anywhere yet. It's coming soon! 


More Homage.. Progress

Just a few more passes and this painting should be done! I'm not sure how I'll treat the sides yet, but I definitely am happy with how this painting has been coming along.


Oil painting in progress

This is another painting I'm working on. Painted over an older painting (that wasn't working out anymore), but this one I'm really loving. It's based on a digital painting I made five or six years ago. This measures approximately 16 x 20 x 2 inches. I've been hoping to finish this one in about a week, but I'm cutting it close now. Painting in details right now. Pushing through! It's hard work! 

Also, if anyone reads this, you might have some interest in checking out my newly improved flickr account. I've updated some images with actually scans and hid a lot of mediocre progress shorts from throughout the years, making for a nice archive of my stuff. I like it.


On the Easel || First week of June

This is a painting in progress & currently on the easel. It still needs a bit more work, but I thought I'd share what I'm currently working on. I'll write about it's meaning when it's finished. Oil on 18 x 24 x 1 inch hardboard panel. 


Paintings, Dolls, & Love of those things

Today I took time to work on a doll. It was Saturday, I even had a nap. I only attached the arms to her body & painted the inside of her ears pink, the pink that comes from Cadmium Red and Titanium white. I didn't paint anything else today. But one day off isn't bad. I've been posting finished paintings here recently; a couple recent ones and a few from the past few years. This also isn't a recent picture, but it is from this year. One day, I was a bit sick, it was a Tuesday, the one when the Anti Art School sets up a model at the Lost Leaf down town, but I just couldn't make it. I did paint though. I had just finished painting the face on this doll head, and I thought it looked nice. So that's what I painted. On the left side you can see a part of another painting I recently finished, over a month ago or so. It's oval, so, I've been lazy to finalize an image of it, but I do have it scanned. I'll share it soon. It came out quite good I thought. It's currently hanging at SideBar. In the picture is the doll head of the doll whose arms and ears I painted earlier this evening. I'll share her when she's done. I love painting in my easel box, I got it with the idea that I will only use it to paint from life. I love it.
Painting of part of a OOAK Doll to come


Hidden Places

This painting came from a small sketch of an interior where a boy is taking off his rabbit suit right next his girlfriend who is laying naked in her bed. However, as I took this idea from a sketch into a painting, I saw it would be difficult to figure out the perspective of the boy in the middle of the room since the perspective is from such a high angle above them. So I changed it's composition. Now he was silhouetted and walking down stairs, blending into the foreground and now the focus was on the girl. This piece was completed around the very first days of 2011.

When one's life has become predictable & monotonous one should conclude that doing something unexpected is necessary! That's the idea I had for this painting. This depicts the moment of anticipation...where the outcome is unknown. Will they burst into laughter together because they are in happy loving moods or could there be an awkward silence because they are feeling awkward?  Also, to me, it's about experimenting with Control; instead of giving in to monotony she does something entirely different from the norm, changing the pace of her present moments. I intended her expression to show a hint of fear of the unknown because that's a very real feeling, one I can relate to. I would have added more excitement in her expression though, had I known I'd receive a lot of odd responses (I showed it to the public via art walk when it was finished). It was entertaining to hear the variety of things said about Hidden Places, but also a bit unsettling that so many were reminded of negative things in their lives because of it, or so they said. It's just a painting though, so truly, I regret nothing! What do you think of this painting?
16x20 inches, oil on hardboard panel, 2011
handmade doll, a lamp I own, hidden treasures inside a drawer

behind the scenes, a moment between a couple you'd never see


Truths Revealed

Truths Revealed is a painting that was completed and sold in fall 2011, 8X10 inch prints are available in my shop. It was a follow up, in my mind to Hidden Places. I intended this painting to have a different feeling from Hidden Places yet exist in the same world. I wanted the girl to seem like she has things under control and isn't phased by much. Where in Hidden Places, I attempted to express the girl as experimenting with control yet feeling uneasy or unsure about it. In Truths Revealed as you can see, there is a lot going on. I tried to hide a lot of things in it that are call backs or refer to things I've painted before. The bunny eared guy, the big mice (mice sounds nicer than rats), and the hamster-bunnies (in the glass cubes). There's a shadow of a figure on the floor, implying someone else in the room that perhaps just arrived. Her expression is supposed to convey that she is not phased and/or doesn't care. The guy's expression is supposed to be that of wonder or curiosity for what will happen next. This painting started from a sketch in a sketchbook.
16x20 inches, oil on hardboard panel, 2011
feeding carrots to rodents
coin operated boy or former resident of Secret Island


It Just Slipped Out

This is something from 2011. At the time I was experimenting frequently for a few weeks with mixed media. It's a fun outlet for me after being focused on oil paintings for a long time, for a show or just self imposed deadlines. This one felt so effortless, I wanted to recreate that feeling and kept trying, but I'm convinced none of the pieces were as good as this one, to me. Below you will see the results of an afternoon I had with mixed media, it's one of my favorite things that came from that time. 
Under that you will see another image, a piece from 2012 made with Aldo. Our finished BrokeBot collab, It Just Slipped Out. We took my version, scanned it into the computer, and worked on it from there. We take turns until we are happy with the results. Prints are available in my shop.
watercolor, graphite, ink, & spraypaint on illus board

digital mixed media print collaboration with Aldo Jeffrey



This is a painting I started a long time ago. Over 4 years ago probably. I had a lot of trouble with it, I used to just start paintings without planning much. I would sketch it onto the canvas entirely free hand, just from an idea in my head or from a much smaller sketch, that I probably didn't even have nearby. This made for more of a mess that needs saving than a straightforward painting. Nowadays I have a better method with less room for mistakes. But I still end up doing small paintovers every so often. After a while I finally came around and just had to finish it; it doesn't feel good to have pieces in progress for so long. After a lot of alterations, fixes, paintovers, and years, she's finished! Just under a month ago, and I am quite happy with the results. 
16x20 inches, oil on canvas




Here is a painting I recently finished, it's small enough that I could easily scan it. It started as only eyes, nose, and a mouth on this toned background. After it sat around for a while, I finally picked up the panel and tried to picture a way to finish it, my roommate saw what I was doing and said "how bout a cosmonaut?" I smiled, and thought Perfect! So I went forth, and came up with this.
9x12 inches, oil and charcoal on hardboard panel


He vuelto

I have decided. To let go, after deleting/reverting to draft many posts on this blog. I have decided to be active here again. I think there is something about blogger, that I can't get anywhere else. I love switching to new things. I love starting new things. I attribute that to moving around so much as a child. I attended so many elementary schools. I don't even want to count. So for me to come back and reuse this, is where the letting go comes in.
I have started several blogs throughout the years (livejournal and tumblr, as well as on blogger). My first one, that felt official and cool was here on blogger. The url has now changed and its something like.. cr-olderposts (link).. on blogspot.com. It's first posts might date as far back as 2005.. and has its own charm, being from so long ago. This one here, well, like I said, tonight, and through the years, I have removed so many of the original posts. It gets so messy when one just spontaneously posts bad photos and rants. I think that's okay though. Plus what's done is done. As a youngling, all my life, I filled lined notebooks with doodles and things I wanted to draw.. a year or two later I'd look at what I had come up with, and decided it was no good. I'd rip pages out, or just threw it all out. Or perhaps even stuffed them under my mattress.. and we'd eventually move and my mom would just throw some of my things out without consulting me. I don't know exactly what happened with those notebooks, but I really really wish I still had them. Can't undo that though. Now with the internet, it's pretty cool to be able to look back at old posts. Now I just hope to keep my cool and post proper photos, good scans, and good words to go along.. 
On that note, I'll just stop typing now, and hope to return soon with a cool picture of painting or something.


Painting in Progress

This is study in progress. It began as a thumbnail in one of my sketchbooks. I'd like to consider it for a painting. I like painting vague scenes that would hopefully leave the viewer creating stories of their own to explain what's going on. I myself haven't unraveled her story yet, that seems to come later in the process for me. ..Though in the mirror on the wall there is a reflection of a figure in bunny ears, which in a way is a call back to a painting I made a couple years ago. I tend to lag on the posting of things, so I'm pretty sure it can't be found here, but the painting I'm referring to is called Truths Revealed. & I was so lucky to have it sell. Quickly after I finished it too! 
Untitled - Stella in a Couch
computer painting in progress


Commissioned Handmade Doll

A friend of mine asked me to make him a doll, as a gift for his girlfriend. Pretty sweet! She's the most detailed doll I have made. I want to make more tiny purses now! To include with any future dolls I make. Though they are becoming more and more rare. I have less and less time to dedicate towards them, I have a lot of fun creating them, but ultimately I don't actually want to be a doll maker, I just can't resist it sometimes. It's fun when they sell, fun that someone might love them and keep them. 
OOAK hand made doll


Portrait of Jiminy Blue

An original painting I finished 2010. Finally back to home base from a show of mini paintings. More portraits to come!

Size: 5 in x5 in x 1 in
Medium: Oil on wood
He's listed in my shop sold!


Red-haired Camera Girl

I recently remastered this piece here.
The original was watercolor and ink on paper. I wasn't terribly satisfied with the results. Below you can see the results of my hand with a computer on it.
Untitled - Camera Girl


Scottsdale Times Newspaper September 2012

Someone saw my two paintings at Method Space art gallery, and they ended up choosing me for their Artist's Spotlight for their September issue of the Scottsdale Times! 
I was interviewed via email. My first time in a newspaper! Check it out!:D


Method Art Gallery

I have 2 paintings up at Method Art Gallery this month! The show is called "In Character" 

Artists VIP reception August 23rd 6-7pm, public reception 7-9pm
4200 N. Marshall Way, Suite 1, Scottsdale, AZ 85251

showing through August, in Scottsdale Arizona
come check it out! I have a few dolls on display too!


The Eye Lounge 6x6" Benefit Show

Eye lounge
A photo of it before I dropped it off.

It was a fun opening! I made it out for a short time before getting dinner after having worked all day. It was good. I think the paintings might have been being sold right off the wall!, proceeds went to Eye Lounge, and maybe when a piece sold it was replaced with a large circular sticker, it seemed like the Artists were signing them... but this is all guessing. It'd be cool if mine sold (as always, duh!), not just for a sticker replacement, but for the thought that someone might take it home to hang it somewhere for people they know to see.. Haven't checked in though.
Working on this quick small canvas was really fun! First painting submission that I decided to go mixed media on. I think this is one of the quickest paintings I've ever completed. All mixed media. Starting with spray paints, dirt/random mess, then some charcoal, fixative, then oil pastel. Less than 3 hours for sure.
I really got an itch to make more of these, I want to soon. But I also got another itch since then, I'll write more about it later (sketchbox painting with oil paint on 6x8" canvas panel while out or at cafes). 
What I find exciting about making small paintings/small canvas sizes, is that I bet I could make a lot of them in short period of time! Especially if they are mixed media. & Even more so compared to all the time it takes to complete one single larger painting in oil. 
I do Love speedy art. Most of my first pieces of art were acrylic and ink on paper, were mostly all done in one session or so. 
It is really so so satisfying to complete a painting during the same sitting! -if not finish, at least knowing the direction it has and that you can finish it quickly after that point, is such a great feeling! :)  
Okay, On with the photos!

Here's a few photos I took during the show. The Opening was on Third Friday, March. At Eye Lounge.
Note in Phoenix
A close up of my painting's spot on the wall.


Happy Birthday, Vincent!

 Self Portrait by Vincent Van Gogh
was happy to realize a few hours ago, that today is when he was born. A long time ago.
I like him, I read his letters sometimes, through a book I found years ago at a used book store, "The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh". I love it.
The other day I read about his sex life. In this book I found more recently called "The Sex Lives of the Great Artists", naturally I wanted to buy the book instantly! I love reading any other side to lives of artists, what you might've missed in history class perhaps.. :) I will make it out to his travelling exhibition soon, it's here in Phoenix right now, till June. I can't wait. I was going to go today, but it became too late.
This morning, I read a chapter in my new book, about Michealangelo's sex life., and then met up with someone to paint them while chatting! -But more on that later.

<3 -c


Portraits from 3rd Friday -December

So back in December of 2011, I decided it was time that I finally go out to the art walk, and draw people live. 
And I had been doing so bad for several previous months that I really needed to start making extra money. So only 15$ gets you a custom portrait! All you have to do is try and sit still for about 20 to 30 minutes. All these guys and I were conversing for a good amount of the time. Next time (which is apparently this Friday..) I will let people know when to 'pose' their mouths. Or else its just a generic not-much-of-a-smile version, due to -thats just how it goes. for now. (:

It was sooo freezing that night! Not literally, but I was trying hard not to shiver, and I think my fingers went numb! So this Friday I plan to do the drawing during the day, and leave by dark. I'll be out there (in MADE's courtyard) for a few hours.. Maybe three. I'll update the info on my fb page. Anyway still had a lot  of fun doing the portraits though! Great first night, and a good turnout, I didn't expect even one!

Alright, signing out. I'll be back tomorrow with that scan! :)

p.s. Thank you so much for your feedback!:)


I live to create Art

For the past four months or so.. I feel I've been growing and changing a lot. One aspect of it is, I've been working harder on my work, and also on myself.
I think with all that change going on, it's hard to know which parts of me to share about here.

I don't know if I have an answer. But I will be going with my gut. So it should turn out alright.


Vermin Signs

This is a painting I recently finished, for a New Year's Eve show at a place called The Compound in Tempe (She's now listed in my shop). It's a painting with an odd subject matter. I gave her features that I was drawn to make at the time. Now she seems almost alien to me. Perhaps that look of her reflects the feelings one gets when we are dealing with stressful things in our lives, feeling so much stress that we hardly feel like ourselves anymore. I wanted to paint rats to take away some of the feelings associated with them. I thought if I paint them, perhaps they will seem less scary overall. Over Christmas break last year, I looked after one for my then boyfriend. She was cute in her own way, was purchased at a pet store of course. I don't know if it's just me or what, but I think any creature given enough time and an open heart can find a place inside you of warm feelings for it. I've forgotten what her name was, but it was fun having her. I was relieved to give her back though, I after all had not chosen to keep a pet rat, it was only a temporary treat!
9x12 inches, oil on hardboard panel


"Nowness" at Eye Lounge Gallery, Phoenix

Opening night went great! It was a lot of fun.

click to view larger

It was on Friday the 18th, November.


Nurse Badelia -In Progress

just wanted to share this old sketch I found, its from last year I think. it was just pencil on paper. I scanned and started digital painting on it, I'm excited to finish up old ideas. :) This ones still in progress! But I really am loving her.

a Video Portrait by Particle Dots

A few weeks ago I participated in Bryn's series of portrait videos. It consists of about 2 minutes of someone staring into the camera at a high frame speed, and when played its a slow gradual still portrait. it's an interesting idea.. Some of the portraits are really nice, I remember one of a lady who smiled during hers, not the entire time.. but it was nice to see a smile. I thought that when it came to be my turn that I would think of so many things while I was looking into nothing towards bright lights. But I mostly just kinda zoned out or meditated in a way, I was just breathing, and holding a stare.. for some reason I didn't come off very natural, it was like I was doing a job, and it was to not look away. My eyes were kinda burning at the time.. towards the end, I had my contacts in (when I still could.. for about an hour).. and they did what uncomfortable contacts do, dry sting-y. Anyway, towards the last closing seconds during the fade out, my facial expression slowly turned into a full smile. I misssed that part the first time I watched the video, from my iphone (that my dad pays for). But I looked at it again this morning, and I saw the smile. And it made me smile.

the weeks after I saw the video.. I guess I reflected.. I saw my weird blinks.. One never closed all the way, and they blink at different times... ? it was way weird for me to see the first time. But, I've been continuing to accept myself over and over, and its sticking more. I recently realized that I could fully look at myself in the mirror and say I love myself. And fully mean it, and fully feel it and that those words cant even explain the feeling. But that took a lot.. Some time ago.. I couldn't really say it. At all. I knew that I would be lying if I said it. I was so sad. That me still creeps in sometimes, and its scary, and I know how horrible that other me often would feel.. But.. I am okay. I can still smile now, and mean it.


Charcoal Study

20min study of my bff & artist Aldo Jeffrey
20min charcoal on toned paper study of bff & Artist Aldo Jeffrey. I enjoyed trying to capture his likeness! and in quickest amount of time:)


"Cherry Blossom Girl" Collab with my Best Friend

This started from a watercolor I made when I first got my watercolor set in January.
We scanned it and Aldo did some fancy stuff digitally to finish it off! He did pretty great! Just enough to make it right. I held back, and did not work on the face any further, it didn't need it.

Ive been digging through lots of my older work, scans of half ideas, sketches, drawings, watercolor doodles of all sorts.. and making more doodles too.
We've been using them for collabs! One approach we have is where Aldo has his hand at unfinished piece by me, and we trade off when/if needed, until the piece feels finished! We've come up with some pretty crazy stuff so far. But only sharing one piece of work per week to not go crazy.

All the work we make is available as prints in our shop. Going through the name of BrokeBot, our new project. We want BrokeBot to be a place were we advertise both of our artworks in one place. With Aldo's great idea making brain, and my need to/attention to detail.. and love for painting faces.. we end up with a good balance.

Why are we doing this?, 'cause we're best friends, roommates, both make art, and are really broke! We hope to get a good fan base going ..and hoping to just not be so broke anymore. :)


A BrokeBot video ~Journey

this is our first finished piece as a collaborative team/duo/effort.

"I made a video of a digital painting of a sketch that me and Carol worked on together. It started as a sketch for Illustration Friday themed "Journey". It then turned into our first collab together as "BrokeBot". Looks awesome on the iPhone. Just saying...BrokeBot don't care 'bout no aspect ratio!"



Painting in the park

I was going to the Japanese Friendship Garden yesterday.. but I didn't know it was closed on Mondays. 

So, I didn't make it like planned. I also didn't know there was a park RIGHT next to the Friendship Garden! so I walked over and painted there instead. I painted some trees that had white flowers all over, it looked much prettier in person, that what I managed to capture, but perhaps I could use it as a background for something.


Painted this at a bar the other night

I got this Van Gogh set of oil paints for christmas.
I took this picture to show them what I created with them!
I have been using them in my easel-box since then. :) Thanks for the paints, Damon & Athena! They came in the cutest little box. I didn't know there were Van Gogh brand paints. Neat!
This was a model from Anti Art School at the Lost Leaf downtown. Painting around people in public is a new thing to me. But I need those challenges. 


today I'm reading The War of Art. Amazing book!

Ok instead of working I'm reading The War of Art. Amazing book! I'm about to learn stuff.
(from earlier today)
I just had lunch, and now I'm going back to reading. Reading the second Book now.
during the reading breaks.. I see glimpses of what I could be doing better -ideas for better ways of Getting to Work! :)

..I havent painted in almost two weeks, But I have been busy with other necessary things, furthering other things along the way. Anyway, I'm gonna go now. Hopefully Next time I blog, it will be with a finished painting or something.!!
I really don't want to fall behind, ...of myself. lol. I want to go at a steady sure pace. Smart and fast too. Okay., I'll be back later.


April First Friday.

April First Friday.
I've been trying to see my work from an outside perspective recently.. lol, & what I see is a set of really ..kind of intense, sad paintings.. or of sad things. I think its just that those are the types of feelings I need to get out. But this is only a part of me, it isn't alll of me. :)